M, n, o, p, Queue.....

There is something special about the British. We love to queue. We love to complain. If we can find someone to complain to whilst we are in a queue, then we are happy in the depths of our despair.

I have just come back from Thorpe Park and can't help but think that ŵe have got theme parks wrong. I have been to Disneyland Florida and Paris and was pleased by the experiences of both. hose damned Americans know what a queue should be about. Even Universal studios in Florida have go it right. Make the queue part of the ride. Watch a different video as you pass each section, getting closer and closer to the ride that will probably last the same time as one of the videos that you have just watched.

Keep the audience interest up, heighten the sense of awareness. Thorpe Park? No. Just a big sign that tells you how long you have to queue for. Do I really want to wait 70 minutes for a ride? No. Disneyland have got this down to a T.

Do I want to go and pay to fast track a ride. I'm sorry. You want people to pay for the right to use the rides and the charge them more if they don't want to queue because you are so greedy that you have more people in your park than you can handle? Lets face I, some rides can only handle a few people at a time but just how greedy can a theme park get?

Look. You have just paid for the worlds finest hooker. She can do things that you can only dream of. What! You want to actually touch her, ah that will be extra sir.

Since when did Ryanair philosophy become the gold standard that everything comes extra?

OK. So I am just a grumpy old man, nothing new there then. The kids all appeared to have fun, especially the ones on our coach considering my team managed to sing, rap and dance their way so far along the M25 and M11 that the kids who were at deaths door with sick bags in hand forgot how to throw up.

How many rides did the kids actually have? If you take the length of a ride....you could probably manage 4 an hour, for 5 hours....did you make 20 rides? Probably not so did you have good value for money?

At least the kids were happy.

Although it is days like these that make me question who I am, what I value and what I want out of life.

Even the service was slow. How long does it take a person to sort out an order of one beer on a slow day at the bar? Answer, too long. Grumble, Grumble.

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...and if you can't wait to get your reward in heaven....

....there's always Thorpe Park. That's right it's time for the schools rewards trip. The day when all the kids who haven't killed anyone or actually had the police prove that they actually did set fire to it get a rewards day out to Thorpe Park.

The remaining students are sentenced to remain in school and suffer unbearable numbness of brain.

I was never actually one for the rides. I'm an engineer and I look at them and think "if, Just one of those nuts and bolts was loose you would be picking up bits of me with tweezers.

I enjoy the social thing. The ideas of watching all these kids, some who don't get out much, go out and have fun reminds me of the play "Our day out" where the kids from the Inner city get to go out to a farm and half the animals end up with them on the coach going back to the city.

Need to keep an eye out for the inventive kids with big handbags....especially the ones with pipe wrenches that can loosen nuts and bolts!!!

Will probably do a few of the way rides as I don't mind getting wet.

Yippee. Bring it on. Another nice reason is that that I get to supervise and have fun with Bethany!

 

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General news items.

Been a busy week. Bethany sang as part of the Choir doing Noye's Fludde at the Thaxted Festival on Friday.

Sheena had an Amici concert on Sunday following last weekends Gospel concert at our house....is there no end to the girls talents....currently listening to songs on her iPhone for next Gospel concert........

Gabi went off on her first holiday abroad without the wrinkles. No rain in Corfu....loads of cute adoptable cats and my god, the insects are huge.

Helena Romanes had a year 5 parents evening....whilst dad was outside working the tables and pressing some flesh....Bethany was there singing her little heart out. VERY Proud. Now to Wednesday nights music presentation/show thingy at school.......followed by Thursdays after school rehearsal for GREASE.

Put Hamish outside on Saturday and with his kennel in the early morning shade....he managed. To pull himself as far as his chain would let him, cocked his neck 90 degrees and stuck the end of his butt only into the warm rays of the sun.......sad!

I let my chickens out on Saturday and spent the afternoon thinking that I had lost one.....until Sheena had made the shocking discovery that it was locked in the outhouse......having made a chicken poo mess of biblical proportions. You can get that Bobby....

I had an appointment at the hospital to pre check my condition before my next operation on then29th July. Can't wait to get all of this over and done with. Damned kidney stone. Following last weeks meeting with the consultant, I am waiting, for news for a date for my hernia operation. I wonder if I will get frequent theatre fly miles?

Arti, the big ginger cat about to lose another life as he fights for a spot on my leg by letting rip with a full set of claws as his head tries to shove the ipad off of my leg.

I may have to kill him?

 

 

 

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Apple news!

Just read a report on how to save the battery on your ipad.

Turn off blue tooth....so you can't talk to anyone nearby

Turn off wifi....so you can't talk to anyone not nearby.

Don't download stuff so frequently....so you don't have any "apps" to play with.

Turn down your brightness...so you can't see the screen properly and you end up damaging your eyesight.

Do try hard at all times to keep the ipad cool.

Don't over charge it.

 

Just leave it in the box.

 

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Djoko vs Jocko.

I don't know about you but I am looking forward to Sue Barker at next years Wimbledon starting things off with a "Well it's been one year since. Briton won Wimbledon?," ......will Fred Perry have to make a comeback?

Does that guarantee Andy Murray the BBC sports personality if the year?

What a fantastic weekend of British sporting success.

Lions victory.
Andy Murray wins Wimbledon.

I love the politeness of the lad....the fact that he asked if was ok to climb up to the box to hug his team.

The fact that Ivan Lendle had a smile on his face.

The fact that Andy was on the way down before he realised he hadn't hugged his mum!
Gets an awe from mums everywhere.ttt

I spent all week on the Internet trying to get tickets for the men's final......ironically the servers were down!

Time to celebrate.!

...time to hear the Lions roar!

Ah.

The weather is hitting its warmest temperatures of the year. I have just cut the grass and its the weekend so 48 hours off.

So when the temperatures soar what else does a man do other than come inside and sit in a weekend room and watch 80 minutes of rugby today ......followed by a few sets of tennis on Sunday.

Looking forward to the rugby. Concerned though.

 I've not really seen the Lions be too inventive or creative other than North's try in the first test, whereas the convicts look as they can slowly turn up the heat and change gear when they need to whilst playing within themselves.

As a Scotsman I am also worried that there are more Scots in the Wimbledon men's singles final than there are in the Lions first XV.

Wife is at choir, Gabi is in Corfu and Bear doesn't do Saturday mornings.

Other than beer and mates.......perfect.

Now less get the first leg of a British double header!

....anyone for tennis?

I suppose that I had better give a quick appreciative Blog to Andy Murray. Ok. He is in the semi final of Wimbledon again but he is about to face a Polish giant who beat him the last time they played so not " a gimme" as they say in the world of golf.

The rugby turned out not to be done and dusted on Saturday as the convicts are getting stronger and more dangerous as games go by.
Laura Robson did make it into the second week and proceeded to get slaughtered by the media with he "I'll try harder next year" speech.

No Laura. You are about to go home and strangle a puppy with disappointment and you will brood and fester for 12 months and when you return you will turn Wimbledon into your own personal killing field.....might be a way to show that you were disappointed with your performance and  WILL do better next year.

As for Andy...seeds have been falling over themselves to go out on holiday this year. nasal was very quickly on a boat in Spain after his shock defeat....no running off to try to win a mixed doubles title there then.

Andy and the Lions, damned if they do, damned if they don't.
Murray wins....well none of the real seeds were in it.
Murray loses.....ah well, he is Scottish after all!
Lions win....... Didn't need O'Driscoll.
Lions lose....should have picked O'Driscoll and why all the Welsh.

....the only things for us to get excited about now are another chance to beat the convicts in the Ashes or. British Success in The Open.

I loved the sound of the phrase on Sky Sports today....pre season friendliest......ahh! normality will be resumed shortly!