You want me to pay HOW MUCH for a coffee?

Coffee. Just a plain coffee. Milk, no sugar. No. not a latte, not a cappuccino not a caramel mocha. You don't do ordinary coffee! Oh! Well, I'll try the latte cos that sounds simple. Excuse me, I've been here for five minutes waiting for my latte....has your kettle not boiled then?
Why are you putting brown powder on the top of it? No! i bought it to drink and not to put in a gallery. OK Thanks. how much is it? Pardon? For one coffee? Are you sure I'm not paying for the lady behind me as we'll? Really! I could have bought a jar of coffee for that AND kept myself going for a month!
You've upset me Mr. Coffee maker...what was that? You are a barista........in my opinion you are a money swindling ......barista......you make over priced coffee and clean a very big machine that puts bubbles into a cup and you get to make up a stupid name for yourself. It sounds like barrister....they have got to many years of study in order to do their job.....oh....you went on a course that included health and safety AND you get to wear the t-shirt. Fantastic!
No! I won't be having a nice day...I'm going to go shopping. But at least I ow have the taste of overpriced coffee in my mouth to keep me going.

"Dad, why don't you get a onesie?" What's a onesie? And what exactly does it do? Ah you mean it's like clothes but covers your whole body and makes you look like an animal. Why would I want to look like an animal? I'm a grown man.......no I don't care if they do them in my size, I don't see the point. I'm a human being, I have clothes that already do that function. Do you remember the all in sleeping bag that we saw in the other shop? Yes the sleeping bag pyjama like thing that you get into just to sit on the sofa. What's the point in that? If you wanted to wear a onesie or a sleeping bag pyjama thing......why not just go to bed?
I am a grown man, I do not need a onesie. God has already provided real men with their own onesies.........they are called BOILER SUITS!