" I don't need my calculator, I have my phone" In years to come, when that student has become a soldier and not bothered how learn to use the rifle (may have forgotten to bring rifle to Iraq as he packed for the wrong week) but at least he will still have his phone.
The compass is a weapon in its own right as students see it as a tool for stabbing the kid in front. (Thus good for hand to hand combat with the Taliban.) They cannot read the scale of a protractor because it goes from 1 to 180 degrees but in two confusing directions and appears to mysteriously break the day before it's needed in class. (Sorry sergeant, my grenade broke at breakfast this morning Sah!)
The pencil. A simple tool which when used effectively can solve many problems. I didn't realise that it's sole functions is to be broken into three pieces and thrown at the lad across the room. (I'm dead handy with a smoke bomb sarge but again it broke....)
A pen! Here is the first piece of equipment that the Army has a use for. The ability to strip a rifle down into it's component parts for cleaning and then to reassemble. With teenage boys, I have never seen so many pens that need to broken into individual pieces, (even the humble biro) during the course of a lesson. Sadly many of them never make it back to their existing conditions and many students are "injured" during the fray as the blue blood of battle runs freely through their fingers.
So I am sorry that we have failed you, as many students never bring their "weapons" to the battlefield and so cannot be trained.
Never fear. There is always one student with a fully armed pencil case, fully aware of the functions of the letters above the keys on the calculator and what they actually do. He will design you a weapon or a piece of software that will cover for the reduction in soldiers. We salute you!
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