Child molesters in me chips!

How the newspaper has changed!
Remembering how the newspaper used to involved the delivery boy putting it through your letter box or the walk to the corners shop. Then the pleasure in reading yesterday's news.
We now live in a time where the news PAPER is almost redundant. It is no longer even found in the fish and chip shop as the outer layer keeping your fish supper warm. Some places will sell you a cone of chips with a newspaper print theme on the outside to make those of us of a certain age slightly nostalgic.

News must now be instant. Live feeds go direct to the t.v. or the laptop or even more scarily, your phone so you can find news anywhere.
All newspapers now come in online format and to be perfectly honest, I believe that the Daily mail provides the best forum.
Many newspapers want you to login and register for more in depth reporting so only give you a snippet of the actual news story.
The mail allows people to comment on the articles within the paper and based on this I wonder who actually reads the paper and feels the need to comment.
Do these people actually sit their in their drawing rooms shouting loudly (or grumbling at passing family members, that the news is either a) incorrect b) upsetting or c) down right blasphemous.
Readers can also comment on the comment by giving a red (dislike)or a green (like) vote.
Today is a quiet news day. How can it be a quiet news day when the online paper is full?
The headline story is a review on the filming of the new series of Downton Abbey by "Weekend Reporters" which hides in the Femail section of the paper. Downton. The jewel of UK t.v. Broadcasting, afloat in a sea of Big Brother, fly on the wall documentaries and repeats that it must be cherished and saved. They even give a nice little review of characters for those of us who don't watch the program but can only imagine that it is no more than a refilling of Gordon Jackson and Jean Marsh in Upstairs Downstairs....but in a bigger house....Mrs Bridges would be upset.

You drift onward to a story by Max Hastings about Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his commoner wife ( close to a story about Pippa and Kate Middleton, the Hogwarts years, to show how not much has changed with aristocracy)

Max obviously has an upcoming book to publish and so what better an opportunity than to write our own good review and remind all of our schoolchildren that history is full of facts and in Max's case, written in an engaging way that would encourage them to read and learn, if they could in fact be bothered to do so.

We drift on to a story about events in the civil war where the Whitehouse, yes THE Whitehouse was burned down as the Americans were celebrating expected victories in the civil war. This is all done below a mocked up photograph of a man looking like Prince William in full army gear walks charges AWAY from a picture of the Whitehouse exploding from The alien invasion film, Independence Day....so it' s justified.

The paper is filled with grumpy comments about how the Daily Mail is telling us things that the reader already knows, rather than informing him of things that he didn't. This fact probably means that the comment author is NOT a daily mail reader but has taken the time to comment and criticise before his Guardian pops through the letter box and he can relax to the theme of Desert Island discs.
IT'S A QUIET NEWSDAY PEOPLE!
If you want these stories banished to the "stuck on a flashdrive waiting for a quiet NEWSDAY pile" then you just might get your wish.
Coming out of the "European Comedy Routine" pages. Vladimir Putin shrugs and does an impression of Maurice Chevallier singing "thank heavens for little girls" as world leaders hang their heads in respect and fear.

If you don't like the no news day articles and want something else to rant about you might just get your wish as Syria takes centre stage in the world playground. All the other kids stand around screaming "Fight Fight" as the UK thinks that they shouldn't help the little kid as they are also currently fighting in two other corners of the playground, America thinks that it will fight anyway because the little kids look up to them with their large, moist, tear stained eyes and Russia is selling knuckledusters to all the school bullies and is willing to show everyone how to use them.
Be careful, what you wish for.

Posted with Blogsy