Celebrity!
No that should be celebrity? Why do cameras follow this woman around? What does she do other than appear walking from nightclub to taxi that makes people want to tale more pictures of her walking from another nightclub to yet another taxi.
Helen now gets so confused about what is a nightclub and what is a taxi that she carries her drink from one to the other because for her, life is just one long party. Normally, ladies use a small compact mirror to apply their lipstick. Sadly Helen was unaware of the facial frosting that she had on....either that her minder had taken her for a couple of strawberry slushies before the evening started.
Helen does of course want to be a celebrity. She wants to be seen in public because she has no other talents. so can anyone explain why she attempts to hide from camera men because she has already called them to tell them which nightclub she will be at at three in the morning so why does she attempt to hide from them as they already know who she is. Headlines of "mystery woman" leaving nightclub would not give her the celebrity that she so craves so why hide dearie?
Again Helen, you ordered this taxi, The shout of "taxi for celebrity Helen Flanagan" may have given a clue to any passing cameramen who were unaware of your existence yet here we are hiding again. Is it because someone has dared to mention the Strawberry slushies and that you look like a 3 year old who has tried on her mums make up for the first time and ended up with a face that looks a bit "art nouveau?"
Also it's nice to know that Helen has bought a pair of £3000 Christian Louboutin boots....but do you have to find taxis in them every night dear? Better to have gone down to Brantano and bought a bunch of different shoes for each night so that you don't look like a dirty little stop out....shouldn't have blown your entire fashion budget on one item dear.
Helen is of course shy and retiring. "Who me?" says Helen to the response of "why have you squeezed those into a something two sizes too small?"
Helen also appears to have an on/off relationship with footballer Scott Sinclair. The football boyfriend is a must for anyone hoping to move from talentless celebrity to talentless WAG. Questions of her unfaithfulness need to be addressed as she appears to be wearing the morning after shirt of a Chicago Bear linebacker as she could find nothing else to his what little is left of her modesty.
Helen has also managed to put the death knell on what little career she thought she had by appearing on I'm a celebrity - get me out of here. You can see her reaction when she was informed that the jungle had neither nightclubs or taxis that she could walk between.
But wait! It's not all bad. Helen wants to be used as a role model for underprivileged kids. She is currently providing training courses on just exactly which clubs you need to walk out of, what is the best time to still get into the next days papers, how to perfect that look of shock as you realise that all the camera men that you have asked to be there are actually there to take your picture and not turn up at the World Health Organisation meeting across the street. Just in case she forgets, you can still see her crib notes/script behind her as a celebrity always needs to rehearse just how surprised she is when the cameras turn up!
KAnd here we see Helen in all her glory as she shows the world's press that she can think, (even though it's starting to hurt) and pout like a fish having firstly remembered NOT to go out for slushies first.
Schoolgirls! Put down those books and go hang about the playground looking for the lad who kicks the round thing better than anyone else, then let him buy you a slushie from the ice cream van before you stagger into your mum's Chelsea tractor screaming "No school photos."
Your work here is done!
Posted with Blogsy
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