Bobby Birss Rant: ....an interview with Education Secretary Michael Gove.

Sunday 30 June 2013

....an interview with Education Secretary Michael Gove.

We are fortunate today to have the Secretary for Education Michael Gove with us. e will be answering some of your questions.......I'm sorry, but Mr. Gove has a throat infection and so can only be photographed responding to questions set by the studio audience.

Michael what was your school days like and were you ever bullied?

Well you are right there...speccys and gingers do come in for some stick. Michael, have you ever considered writing a novel like Alan Clarke and if so what would your sleeve photo look like?

I agree, very John Grisham. An unusual request here but how long can you hold our breath for?

I agree, seventeen seconds is probably a new world record. This is not a question, but with all that breath holding....did you just fart?

Good. Back to the questions. John from Wrexham wants to know if you have claws like a chicken?

I'm glad we've got that sorted out. Wendy from Stroud wants to know if you can dislodge your bottom jaw like Gordon Brown or a snake?

Thanks for that. Chris from Hatfield thinks that you are possessed by the devil. Any comments?

I'm glad we've cleared that up. Susan from Slough has heard that you do a good Mandelson impersonation, any chance we could see it?

I say, just like the Dark Lord himself there. Steven from Birmingham thinks you are mad and hear voices in your head!

So no voices at all then. Piers from Los Angeles would like to know if you could comment on his news story tomorrow that you are having an affair with a large invisible woman!